Intro

Hello, Pakistanis.

I've seen people die. I've seen people losing hope. I've heard teenagers talking about leaving this country and hating the fact that why, WHY they were not given the choice on where to be born. I've seen young, active individuals-who CAN make some difference-complain about how bad things are in this country. I've seen mothers shattered on losing their sons in bomb blasts. I've seen fathers collapsing on losing their dreams. I've seen poverty. Hopelessness. Helplessness. Anger. Disgust. Hunger.

I've seen all of that. I am a Pakistani who has lost all hopes. Who is questioning himself on where did all that patriotism go. Those national anthems. Those national songs which used to give me goose-bumps. That energy vibe that went through my body-shaking up every single minute part of me-when I said the word 'Pakistan. Those moments of joy when Pakistani team won a cricket match. Those moments of depression when we lost few brothers and sisters in an accident thousands of miles away. That adrenaline rush when a Pakistan youngster got some award abroad. That feeling of joy when a Pakistani broke a Guiness record. That ultimate sense of belonging when I heard someone scream 'Pakistan Zinadabad' on top of their lungs.

Where'd all that go?

Why is it that I am becoming indifferent to these things? Why is it that I've lost hope. Why is it that even when deep inside my heart, I know that we'll rise above all one day, I don't see that day coming any time soon. What has made me believe that we are helpless.

When and why did I become a turncoat?

I want all those feeling back. When I waved the flag up high. When I bought flag pins and distributed them for free. When I decorated my house with small flags on 14^th August, even if knew it was gonna rain. When I loved that perfect blend of green and white and the 5 cornered star.

I want my patriotism back. My Pakistaniat. I want it.